How Americans Can Finally Get HOGE Easily and Cheaply

HOGE has been added to the exchange, so you can at last directly swap DOGE and many other top cryptos to get small amounts of HOGE

By Hogefather, aka Jesse J Rogers

Only a few days ago, I wrote about the importance of only making large purchases when you’re using Uniswap to buy HOGE.

Unfortunately, small purchases and dollar-cost-averaging are just too expensive on Uniswap because most of your value will be eaten up by gas fees. A few days ago, I didn’t know of any solutions for small buyers. Now I do. It has problems and isn’t a complete solution, but consider it as a possibility.

This platform isn’t the kind of exchange that holds anyone’s funds, so there’s no need for account signup or proof of identity or anything like that. It also has no affiliation with either me or Hoge Finance. They are their own thing. No one in the Hoge community accepts responsibility or liability for this service.

That said, I do like this service. I’m going to tell you everything I know about it. The biggest problem is that they don’t have a large liquidity pool, so huge price swings on that platform are possible. Always check the price somewhere like coinmarketcap before transacting to make sure you’re getting a reasonable deal. If not, then just wait for someone to arbitrage more HOGE tokens back into their liquidity pool. Check the price whether you’re buying or selling.

If you’re used to Uniswap, this is very similar in the sense that it is an automated crypto vending machine. It doesn’t care who you are and isn’t interested in any Know Your Customer (KYC) requirements. It seems complicated to people who are just getting into crypto, but it isn’t. You’re already used to this concept. Do you have quarters? Put them in the machine and it will give you a coke no matter who you are. It doesn’t ask for proof of ID. If you’re thirsty and have money, it just serves you.

In the same way, do you have DOGE? Send them over and the machine will put HOGE into whichever wallet you tell it. Your identity in decentralized finance is irrelevant, just as it is for someone who wants to “taste the feeling” of Coca-Cola. That’s banking as it should be. It’s why I’m so comfortable making bold claims like this.

We are quickly entering an era of censorship-resistant banking where the system no longer has the ability to discriminate against you, Human. Anyway, here are the steps to get HOGE using from the United States.

  1. Buy Crypto On a Centralized Exchange. Although does carry USD as a currency, you can’t use fiat to buy HOGE directly (yet). That’s why step one is to use your favorite exchange to buy something like XRP, ALGO, XLM, or another coin that has a low transaction cost. You’ll need to hook your bank account up to that other exchange like coinbase or But once you do own crypto, it is very easy to instantly send it out anywhere (depending on the rules of the exchange you’re using… some do make you wait a few days).
  2. Create a Metamask, Trust Wallet, and/or Coinbase Wallet Account. You need a place to store your HOGE. You could do this first if you want to. The order isn’t sequential. The important thing is DON’T LOSE YOUR SEED PHRASE, don’t ever share it with anyone else, and avoid clicking on suspicious links because thieves can hack into your wallet and steal crypto. Make sure your security protections are up with 2-factor authentication, a pin number, and biometrics. You can’t be too careful in crypto. I just read a post this morning in a Facebook group about someone who lost his entire $5k crypto portfolio because of hackers. Look, 99.5% of people in the crypto space are good and decent according to the recent statistics that I just made up. But the few anonymous criminals out there causing all this misery are no joke. You really have to be careful, this is the Wild West and no one is coming to your rescue. Don’t blow off the security features.
  3. Add HOGE token. Most wallets have towards the bottom of your portfolio an option that says something like “+ADD TOKEN”. If it doesn’t show up you can use the contract address listed on or a reputable exchange, not some random guy on the internet that you don’t know. Having said that, some of you will ignore me and use this anyway because you trust me that much. Trust? Fine. Whatever. But VERIFY! That’s what I want to train you kiddos to do. Don’t even trust me, don’t just take my word for anything. Always verify. That’s how we keep one another honest in this brave new world. 0xfad45e47083e4607302aa43c65fb3106f1cd7607
  4. Send Crypto to in Easy Numbers. You’re ready to go to the website. Simply enter in the amount of cryptocurrency you want to exchange for HOGE, and it will automatically compute what you’ll receive. Go to your wallet and copy your empty HOGE address. Paste that into the appropriate box on (shown below). will provide you with a wallet address to send your crypto to that you bought on the exchange. Send the exact amount that you said you would send. Any deviation from what you claimed, and the transaction will not go through. You will have to spend several hours waiting and working with their tech support to recover your funds. The lower limit is around $125 or so in value, and the upper limit is around $450 of value, so this is only for transactions in a particular range. Above $450 and you’ll still have to use Uniswap, 1inch, or another exchange.

And that’s pretty much it. The HOGE will appear in your wallet a few minutes after you send the funds.

If you want more detail, my co-host Shane and I go in-depth for this episode.

P.S. I Have to Rant

There’s a lot of things we didn’t cover in this episode that I wish I had, and I really need to spell out my opinions to the community regarding a number of important issues.

Unfortunately, SHIB, SAFEMOON, ELONGATE, and many of my other favorite meme coins (some of which I also own) are not supported yet on I understand why. As the first deflationary and redistributive DeFi meme coin, as well as the first to successfully complete a Certik audit (with a strong score, I might add) HOGE really does stand out in a big way.

Don’t get me wrong, getting listed on centralized exchanges is cool and all, too. We’ll definitely be going on more of them. But getting listed still isn’t a guarantee that everything will go smoothly, as irritated Binance customers are discovering.

That said, even though I take pride in HOGE for getting on without our team even having to contact them, please realize that I’m not gloating nor am I wishing bad on anyone who doesn’t have this tool available.

I really want to be clear about this. There’s no room for schadenfreude in the world we need to build. Again, I’m not speaking for Hoge Finance here. Speaking for myself, in no uncertain terms, you should know that I’m rooting for Ethereum, Cardano, Binance, Algorand, Safemoon, Elongate, and every other project that’s trying to find the right niche for them.

The world is big enough for all of us, and I share Safemoon’s attitude as I cheer on the success of other teams. We are all in the same ecosystem trying to build a better future and bring people together around shared interests and hobbies. We of good faith respect that, and even in the throes of competition, we have good reasons to desire a healthy, sportsmanly, non-toxic atmosphere where we can celebrate one another’s happiness rather than resent it.

For Hoge to be worthy of being the lead dog on the sled team, this is how we must understand our role. We are creating a world of abundance, not scarcity. To the extent that we can provide a good example and encouragement to newer teams along with a template of what works, we should do that.

Wait, what’s that you say? You’ve only got $200 to spend? Well then… uh, never mind. Just forget about all those other stinky poo coins and only buy my favorite, which is HOGE, ha!

Relax, I kid, I kid. Jeez. Don’t be so sensitive! Buy whatever makes sense to you but do it as a portfolio rather than a single-asset investment. In a world where Doge can get returns like this, who knows what’s going to happen next? No professionals, and not me either. Just try to catch some small piece of whatever happens next. ;P

I have become Hogefather. Soon to be dad. Amateur author. Crypto enthusiast.

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